How to Simplify Your Life
~by Elisabeth ElliotThe more complicated life becomes, the more we need to quiet our souls before God. It is my prayer that the following simple (but not by any means easy) principles may be of help to many as they have been, and continue to be, to me. “The Lord God will help me. Therefore shall I not be confounded. Therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed” (Isaiah 50:7, KJV).1. Go to God first. Kneel in silence. Lift up your heart and hands. Listen. “I am ready; let him do to me whatever seems good to him” (2 Samuel 15:26).2. Receive the Givens and the Not-Givens. “Lord,cyou have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure” (Psalm 16:5).3. In acceptance lies peace. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).4. It is always possible to do the will of God. “If you love me, you will obey what I command” (John 14:15;15:10). “Let the weakest, let the humblest remember, that in his daily course he can if he will, shed around him almost a heaven” (F.W. Robertson).5. Do it now. “I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands” (Psalm 119:60). “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow” (James 4:14).6. Love means sacrifice. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1John 3:16). Memorize 1 Corinthians 13:1-8.7. Choose your attitude. “Your attitude should be that of Christ Jesus, who … made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.… He humbled himself” (Philippians 2:5, 7, 8).8. Analyze your struggle. Is it merely delayed obedience? “For some it is ‘Down crosses and up umbrellas!’” but I am persuaded that we must take heaven with the wind and the rain in our faces” (SamuelRutherford). “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free” (Psalm 119:32).9. Give it all to Jesus. “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25). “I am willing to receive what You send, to do without what You withhold, to relinquish what You take, to suffer anything You inflict, to do what You command, to be what You ask me to be—at any cost, now and forever” (Anonymous).10. Do the next thing. “In the evening my wife died.The next morning I did as I had been commanded” (Ezekiel 24:18). “Five minutes of drastic obedience would make things as clear as a sunbeam” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).11. Give thanks always and for everything (Ephesians 5:20). “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it” (Psalm 141:5).
(originally published in the Elisabeth Elliot newsletter, January 2000).
Two Gifts of Love
Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Running out of my own ideas, I asked the Lord what I could give to my husband as an anniversary gift, something that would be unique and meaningful to mark this once-in-a-lifetime occasion.
God does not disappoint; He came through with two gift ideas. I wasn't surprised by His faithfulness, but I was surprised by His answers!
First, He told me to give my husband the gift of prayer. Although it seemed that I was already praying constantly for my husband, the Lord called me to a fresh commitment to pray for my husband daily. Not half-hearted prayers, not selfishly motivated prayers, but earnest and diligent petitions on his behalf. It is the difference between praying and having a prayer life.
"Pray My will for your husband," He urged. "Don't just pray about him, pray for him. Pray that he would be the man I have called him to be. I have revealed it all in My Word. Pray Scripture for him." No other gift that I could give to my husband, the Lord reminded me, would have the kind of lasting value my prayers would have. So I vowed that I would pray for him diligently, every day for the rest of our lives. What a wonderful gift this would be!
The second gift idea also caught me off guard. He urged me to write a love letter to my husband. "A love letter? Did I hear You right, Lord?" "Yes, a love letter."
I had not written a love letter to my husband for a long, long time. I must confess that it had been years. Of course, I did buy him special cards for different occasions, and write little notes. This time, however, I was to sit down with pen and paper and write a love letter? At first, it wasn't as easy as I expected. I felt a bit uncomfortable, somewhat foolish and very vulnerable.
I reflected on where we were some time ago. We've had our shares of struggles over the years, just like every other married couple. We've even had some really tough times, but God gave us the grace to stay together and work through them. Our love had grown and matured because of those dark days in the wilderness. And now, here we were, on the threshhold of a new decade together. What could I write to the one person who, next to God, knew me better than anyone else? And why was it so hard to find the right words?
As I prayed about it, the Lord showed me what had held me back from writing a love letter all these years. Something very ugly: my pride! Pride that made me build a wall around myself so that I wouldn't be hurt. Pride that wouldn't let me be vulnerable. Pride that said, "I'm too busy." Pride that found it very hard to compliment my husband. A wonderful husband, I might add, who I love so very, very much. Yet my pride had kept me from expressing what I needed to say to him.
With a heavy heart, I asked the Lord to forgive me for not loving my husband the way I ought to have. I also asked him for the right words, and prayerfully, I started to write.
I began at the beginning. Our courtship, our engagement, our wedding, honeymoon, and so on. I wrote down every single memory I could think of. The Lord helped me so much in this process. I laughed out loud at the hilarious memories. Painful episodes, though they hurt, brought me back to the cross for healing and forgiveness. Recollecting God's miracles, our children, filled me with thanksgiving and praise. Once I began, a flood of memories came pouring through, and I could barely keep up with my mind and heart.
"My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer" (Psalm 45:1).
It ended up being a thirteen-page letter! After I was done, I felt a strange mixture of relief, peace and joy. Somehow, the Lord used the very act of writing this letter to remind me of all that He has done, of all that He has given. Here was the very picture of our marriage, of being "heirs together of the grace of life." I fell deeper in love with my husband as God filled me with a new gratitude for him and with a new hope for our future.
Was it worth it? Oh, it was very worth it to see my husband speechless with tears. Things around here haven't been quite the same since then. We've both been changed.
Two simple gifts of love. Prayer. And a love letter.
Oh, Lord, You come up with the best gift ideas!
~Linda Hayase
(originally published in Apples of Gold, February 2000.)
The Power of a Praying Wife
So often we pray about our husbands, "Lord, change HIM!" Yet, many times the Lord is calling us to pray, "Lord, change ME!" This is a much tougher prayer to embrace, but one that is necessary for the good of our marriages. It is also one, I believe, that ushers in the blessings of heaven in a mighty way.
May I suggest that you pray this aloud and see how the Lord speaks to your heart?
"Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.
"Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do--totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.
"Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.
"I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.
"Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10).
"I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this marriage.
"Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see Him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me."
~From The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian
